Waning Moon
by psycho-girl101
Summary: Previously called 'He didn't mean it'. Jasper didn't mean it. I know he didn't. The look in his eyes when he realised what he was about to do...he had no control over it. I don't blame him I never did and I never will. The same can't be said for Edward.
1. Bella

_Jasper didn't mean it. I know he didn't. The look in his eyes when he realised what he was about to do...he had no control over it. I don't blame him; I never did and I never will. The same can't be said for Edward._

Jacob had been over. It was five o'clock on the nose practically and raining. It had been all weekend. Perfect hunting conditions, according to Edward, and so the Cullen family were all out doing just that. I wasn't expecting to see him again until school the next morning, as he never came over the night after a hunt. He didn't like being around me when he had so much blood in his system; it was too dangerous apparently. Everything was too dangerous in the book of Edward, if it had anything to do with me and anything more strenuous than breathing.

That's what I like about Jake so much. Although he is so much stronger than I am, even though he regards me as fragile, he never lets it show in his treatment of me. He lets me live. At the moment it happened we were considering new paint jobs for the bikes and I was, oddly enough, think about the petulant frown Edward gained whenever they came up in conversation. Unexpectedly Jake sat bolt upright. He sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose in obvious distain.

"_He_'s coming." He said with disgust and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as he kissed the top of my head and left through the back door, quivers passing through his body while he did so. Boys, honestly. Well, Werewolves, but the principal is the same. I sat for a moment in complete still and silence, closing my eyes and savouring the moment.

I opened them expecting Edward to be standing in front of me with that crooked grin of his I love so much. He wasn't. Victoria was.

"Hello, Isabella." She hissed and I couldn't help it, I screamed. Loudly. She stepped forward with perfect elegance and I leapt up from my chair. One of my legs was caught and I tripped. She laughed a tinkling laugh, which on anyone else would have sounded beautiful. It made me feel ill right now.

"Let's make this fun, then. You go ahead. Run. I'll count to twenty, shall I? Adrenaline always makes the blood taste so much sweeter. Ready?" She laughed again and I knew it was hopeless, but I couldn't give up. I couldn't just stand there and wait for her to kill me.

So, I ran. As fast as my human legs could carry me. I ran with one destination in mind; Edward's house. Later I was told I had been going in the complete and utter wrong direction, but at the time it felt like I was doing something right, I had made a decision and I was sticking by it. What I hadn't planned on was running _into_ anybody.

Impact...hurt. That's all I can say of it really. Except that, in comparison, it felt like running into a wall. If said wall was made of titanium. Twice. Needless to say I fell backwards and my attempts to catch myself ended in my arm catching on a branch, slicing open the skin. I don't know why, but until it was well past too late, it didn't click.

"Jasper!" I cried, hysterical with temporary relief. "Oh, Jasper, it's Victoria- she's after me!"

Nothing happened for the longest second I have ever encountered. Then, he began to turn. Very slowly, to face me. His eyes were blood red. Just like Victoria's. In a beat as long as a breath, a look of pain flashed across his eyes. Then he had me pinned by the shoulders, his teeth bared at my neck.

And the funniest thing is this; I didn't cry out. Not until his teeth pushed down, breaking the skin and injecting me with the burning venom. Then I did gasp, but only once. He didn't care about the venom however, as he began to suck my life blood out through the tap vein of my neck.

I felt weak almost instantly, credit where credit is due, Jasper Hale is good at what he does. I remember thinking that, then thinking that maybe the venom made you go insane first too, and for some unknown reason I had this mad urge to giggle too. I didn't though, there was no energy left to.

Towards the end, which really was only about a minute after the start, everything grew very hazy and far away. I couldn't keep my eyes open...my eyelids just felt...so heavy. The ground felt so comfortable and I stopped really caring what Jasper was doing because he was nice and cool and so was the rain, and I felt too warm.

Then there was a snarling noise, like a bear made of steel and it seemed too far away to concern me until his chilled skin was no longer against mine and I could hear distant crashes of thunder, or of mountains tumbling down.

I just wanted them to stop, to shut up and let me rest, I felt so sleepy. But, without Jasper in contact with me the venom surged back to the wound with a vengeance. I couldn't help screaming, it felt like I was on fire. The feeling was familiar, dread filled me. I was being changed. Edward wasn't here.

Then as if he realised what I'd thought Edward was there. I didn't have to open my eyes to know it was him.

"My Bella, I'm so sorry." He sounded like he was crying, but that wasn't possible. Wrenching my eyes open, the light burning them I saw his face through a red mist. I reached up a shaking and stroked down his cheek, his stone cold cheek.

"'S ok..." I whispered. I felt him scoop me up easily and I curled into his coolness before a fresh wave of flames coursed through me and finally blackness enveloped me in it's forgetful embrace.


	2. Jasper

**Thank you to all those who reviewed, I really hope to get the same feed back for this chapter )**

**Sadness-is-beautiful, Ksangi, a.fall.from.grace., BiteMeEdward17, Circlesandsquares, Tinc – **Thank you for reviewing with such nice/positive thoughts D

**Twilighterin and Emma Leigh Thompson – **I hope this chapter was [Twilighterin I hope I advanced on that promising start with better spelling and [Emma Leigh Thompson a bit slower and clearer.

**Finally, purtyinpink71121- THANK YOU FOR THE NICEST REVIEW IN THE WORLD. **That was just such a day brightener, I went around smiling like an idiot all day. So this chapter is dedicated to you, because...well, I felt like it )

_I don't think Edward will ever understand just how sorry I am. But, he knew how long Bella's scent has been tempting me; ever since the dance studio incident the smell of her blood has been at the front of my memories. He still let her be round me, even after the birthday incident. When I was in such an uncontrollable state...Neither she or I had a hope._

I stopped to check the trail I was following. My eyes accented the path the doe I was following; highlighting her tracks a violent orange. The dainty marks veered left. If I had been thinking rationally I would have realised that about 800 metres away lay a suburban street – why on earth would the animal be so close to civilisation when it was normally a deep forest dweller?

But my nostrils were filled with the smell of blood, mingled with the gentle rain which was falling. I could still taste my last kill. It had been a family of foxes. Sweet, but nowhere near satisfying. All I knew was that if I kept following that path I would have more of the precious substance I was craving so urgently.

Just as I was about to set off again, the wind blew and a new aroma hit me. It smelt amazing. It was human. The smell of a human is just so...indescribable. One small thing I remember from being a human myself, is the smell of walking past a bakery, early in the morning, just after the first batch of bread has been removed from the oven. It was my favourite smell then. The warm, satisfying sensation, the way I felt like I could fill up on the aroma alone. Human blood smelt like that ten fold. And this blood, well, it was even better than usual. There was a special...tang, about it. I felt sure I had smelt it before, but at the time I could have cared less.

I went rigid. It was coming from behind me. The wind blew again and the smell was stronger; the person was coming this way. It was too easy; all I had to do was wait for them to run straight to me. Which she did. I could tell it was a she before I heard her voice, female blood has a certain sweetness within it that male blood doesn't. But, when she ran to me, or rather into me, and feel the smell became truly overpowering, she must have cut herself, and I realised who that smell was.

If I had blood it would have run cold. When we hunt, we throw aside our clear minds and allow...what did Edward call it? Our instincts, to take over. We forget everything...who we are, what we should do, our beliefs. Everything. Yet, as I turned to face her, for a few seconds my right mind did come back. It screamed at me, yelling how I couldn't kill her...how it would destroy Edward, my brother. But, she just smelt so...alive. So irresistible. I threw the voice of reason from my mind.

I pounced and quicker than you could blink, I had my teeth in her flesh, that amazing smell was an indescribably faultless liquid that was pouring down my throat. With it came her emotions and feelings. There was a great deal of fear, angst, sorrow...yet also acceptance. It began to fill me up in a way I hadn't remembered feeling in a long time. Normally my prey screams, howls, whines, whatever. Bella didn't. I was so absorbed in what I was doing I didn't even hear Emmett approaching. I wasn't even aware of his presence until he crashed into the side of me, hurling me away from my meal.

He threw me into a tree with a sound louder than a clap of thunder and pinned me there. I snarled and snapped at his face, fighting against his weight, she was going to go cold...

"Jasper!" He yelled in my face. Jasper? I snarled again and he shook me, causing the whole tree to quake. "Jasper, It's me, Emmett." He shouted. It came back again. I was Jasper...My meal had been...Bella. I heard her scream in the distance

My eyes lost their hunter red glow.

"Oh God," I whispered, meeting his eyes. "Emmett...I..." I couldn't say anything. What would you say? Is there some etiquette book of '100 things to say and do after you've sucked the blood of your brother's soul mate' that I missed in Waterstones?

He looked sad. Emmett is never sad. A wave of it rolled off him making me feel like retching. It was like being plunged into the Baltic Sea. What had I done? I looked over his shoulder and saw Edward cradling Bella's body. His gaze meet mine for the longest moment. She released an ungodly scream, making up for her previous silence. The noise she made was the same one I would have done, if I hadn't been able to control it after feeling Edwards pain and grief. I felt sick, I had to get away. The smell of her, lingering in my nostrils had gone suddenly sour.

I shook Emmett's hold off me and I ran, carrying not a jot for where I was going. I just had to get away. From the guilt, from the smell...from the look in the eyes of both my brothers.

The wind whipped past me at an insane speed. If only I could feel the pain of it slapping my face. I came to the edge of the earth and stopped. I say the edge of the earth, that's what it felt like at any rate. Below me the white expanse of the cliff dropped into the dark blue cutting sea. I watched it toss and turn, feeling as though it were my own thoughts and feelings down there instead of waves.

Something beyond my control rose in my chest. I just couldn't take this feeling, these emotions. The irony was enough to kill a person, yet there I still stood...alive. I dropped to my knees and yelled my heart out...or rather my wish for one.

_**Guys, just a wee teensy note – I want Jasper to sound like he is someone who can't deal with his emotions okay? He doesn't understand them, he finds them difficult. That's what I think about him. He knows everyone else's emotions and all and he can deal with them, that's why his own are so uncontrollable for him. Do you see? I got this idea from myself...I help everyone else with their problems, they all come to me with them looking for me to sticky tape the pieces back together and I do, yet my own life lies in constant shreds and there is fuck all I can do about it. Excuse my language, I hope you all enjoyed the story.**_


	3. Edward

_**Please excuse the shockingly short length of this chapter, I am somewhat out of the groove...I'll get there again soon - and it won't take me turning into a llama to get me there XD**_

_**Huge thanks to everybody who reviewed and the same response would once again be cosmically incredible. I would particularly like to know what you think of my Edward, I found it so difficult!**_

_**Next chapter will be out soon - Alice's P.O.V!**_

_I will never forgive Jasper what he has done. He stole Bella's innocence, her life, her soul from her. And me. He has cursed her to this torturous half-life we lead and no _brother_ of mine would ever do that. _

If I'd had time to think about it, I should have been thankful for the fact I had no requirement to breathe – I stopped doing it in the second I saw her. Lying like a fallen angel on the forest floor, pale as the waning moon and shaking like the branches of the gnarled trees that played silent witness to this tragedy.

I darted to her side, her sporadic heartbeat drumming in my ears like the fluttering wings of a scared hummingbird. Emmett and Jasper were making enough noise to wake the dead behind me, but their chaos fell away as I knelt beside my love. It was as painful as though I were watching my own life bleeding away. I could feel it. Her delicate features were contorted in pain and another emotion, fear. Somehow, I knew she was not afraid of what was happening to her.

Perhaps it was selfish for me to think it so, but I felt as though she were afraid I wasn't there.

"My Bella, I'm so sorry." I whispered, my voice torn with the agony.

"'S ok," She replied gently. She opened her eyes and I saw the terror leaving them. She reached up a shaking hand and stroked my face – I felt like the sorrow was going to tear me apart. I scooped her into my arms, and turned to tell Emmett I was taking her to Carlisle. Instead my eyes meet his.

Jasper seemed to have finally returned fully to his own mind and I felt the guilt in his mind as he saw the look upon my face. I hadn't realised there had been any physical response to my emotions, but clearly it was so. I heard his regrets and horrified thoughts and I was glad he was feeling so awful. Nothing he could ever feel would pay for this. He was lucky Bella needed me – else he wouldn't still be in one piece.

At that moment Bella tensed in my arms as a shuddered passed through her whole body. She let out a piercing scream and fell limp. I ran.

Faster than I had ever before. Branches whipped at me, the rain bouncing off my skin like hail. I felt nothing externally. But inside I was broken. I knew this time I was too late to save her humanity. My lack of a heart made it impossible, but I felt sure it was breaking.

Finally the house came into my sight and I could see Alice standing on the porch waiting for me. I ran straight past her, but her thoughts followed me up the stairs,

_'I'm sorry.'_

I ignored it for the time being and rushed to Carlisle's office. His door was open and the table was covered in a sterilised steel sheet. A surgical table. I laid her down ever so gently and my darling seemed to shudder as she lost contact with me. I took her hand the second my own were free, held it against my cheek, and closed my eyes, trying to seek any warmth in her skin at all.

"Help her Carlisle, please," I whispered.

"Stay calm Edward, let me take a look at her," Carlisle's normally calm and rationed tone was slightly uneven. I kept my eyes closed, but I heard him move closer. After a few seconds I felt a small hand on my shoulder – Esme.

_'I'm sorry.' _

Her soft voice rang through my head. No, don't be sorry, I felt like replying, because it has to be alright. They weren't sorry for the same reason I was. They were sorry for Bella being changed – which wasn't going to happen. Then I heard a defeated sigh and if possible, it chilled me to the core.

"I'm sorry." Carlisle echoed Esme and Alices' thoughts.

"NO!" I yelled out loud, standing up and opening my eyes. "There has to be something! You always fix things Carlisle – fix her!"

"Not this time, Edward. I can make her comfortable, she will feel very little of the pain itself. I can induce a coma of sorts... I can't stop this happening, son." Carlisle spoke in a resigned, but clinical fashion.

I watched, frozen in shock as he went to the cabinet and began fixing the dosages of chemicals required in syringes. I felt Esme's attempts to console me, heard he soothing voice – none of it registered. My Bella. I had doomed her to this – it was all my fault.

I hadn't realised but I was shaking my head. As Carlisle returned and started to prep Bella's arm I backed away. Esme released her hold on me and I dashed from the room, shaking with the emotions I couldn't express.

I slumped back against the wall causing it to tremor. I clasped my hands behind my neck and looked desperately at the ceiling, begging it to give me the answer. Nothing came. This just wasn't...fair. I couldn't contain my emotions and dry sobs shook my body. My Bella...


	4. A Loving Note From Your Author

Hello darlings, a Quick Note!!

The title is finally changed to something I like and feel fits!

As some of you may know, I really didn't like He didn't mean it, but I was using it as a working title none the less.

Well I have my perfect title - Waning Moon!!

I know it's sort of the same as New Moon, but I like it and it fits way better than HDMI, same as Forks just doesn't ring like Twilight does XD

IDK, if you don't like it please tell me! If you do like it tell me as well! I really want to know, Brownies Promise, Scout's Honour whatever :p

Next chapter is coming on well and should be out...tomorrow if you are awfully good at telling me what you think...Nah, it will probably be Friday, because I love you guys anyway!


	5. Alice

_**Thank you for the absolutely incredible responses I have been receiving – I would thank you all individually, but I thought you may thank me more for giving you this chapter the second it is complete instead. Please keep reviewing it's 'my brand of heroin' XD I would like to know specifically what is your favourite quote/part from this chapter, so please do tell!**_

_Why didn't I see this coming? Edward begged me to watch her future, to keep her safe. How could I miss this? How could I let Edward down like this? How can I continue knowing I did this to Bella? And my poor Jasper..._

"No!" I whispered, coming back from my vision. Jasper was going to bite Bella. Today.

"Alice?" Edward was by my side in a second, his gift allowing him to hear portions of my thoughts, his face tight with concern.

"Jasper, he's going to...he's going to bite Bella. It was near Bella's house." Edward didn't need to hear anymore and he took off in the direction of the place I showed him with my mind – clearly he knew it.

"Emmett, go with him." Carlisle instructed and Emmett nodded once before following Edward. Once they were both gone I sat down.

"Oh, Dad what have I done? What if they're too late? I should have seen this!" I exclaimed, ripping up grass in frustration. When things are going wrong Carlisle is still dad and Esme is mum, they always protect me like parents – they always make it right.

"Alice, it'll be alright. You see the future not the present. There is still hope." Carlisle said. His voice held, as usual, the perfect amount of both comfort and firmness. Esme picked me up off the ground and set me on my feet before giving me one of her hugs. There is just something so special about them, something not quite describable...a sense of everything you need at that moment being in her show of affection.

I smiled weakly at them and felt embarrassed by my temporary loss of control. There is a time and a place for such silliness. There was still hope, there was a chance. I concentrated carefully on the future, on Bella's future. All doubt was taken away in a second as another vision came to me.

_Bella tensed in Edward's arms and a shuddered passed through her whole body. She let out a piercing scream and fell limp. Edward began to run._

_He ran until the house came into sight and I was standing on the porch waiting for him. He ran straight past me, but I couldn't miss the look on his face. _

The vision ended and I looked up, realising Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie were watching me with expectation in their eyes. Slowly I shook my head and Esme gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. Carlisle sighed in resignation. Rosalie stepped back slightly; dazed.

"We- we need to go back to house, Edward will take her there." I stated, too stunned to react properly. Without another word the four of us set off.

As we reached the house we all slowed in unison. Rosalie went round the side of the house, and Carlisle gave me a reassuring pat on the arm as he and Esme entered. I waited on the porch, leaning my head against my forearm as I had seen in my vision of what was to be. In my mind I was still begging, praying that there was a chance I was wrong, it wasn't too late...

All that was erased, as I saw the unmistakeable figure of Edward pelting toward me through the raining. I hadn't even considered the weather, but now realised I was soaking wet. The pale porcelain doll in his arms made me stop thinking about the weather immediately. Sometimes I truly hate being right.

Edward didn't slow as he passed me but, as I knew I would, I caught the look on his face. It was worse by ten fold in reality. His jaw was clenched in a fight for control, his head bowed, not against the weather but, in despair. His eyes were the worst. They were the same colour as the deepest outreach of space. I flinched, for in the brief second they meet mine I saw a pain so unimaginable, so twisted, it hurt me to attempt comprehension. I couldn't help but feel responsible, and I called out to him with my mind begging him to understand.

_I'm sorry._

I thought as hard as possible but, he didn't respond. I followed him into the house and waited in the vestibule. I heard the muffled tones of Edward and Carlisle, then Edward was shouting so loudly it was as though he were standing next to me.

"NO!" He was yelling, his inconsolable tone echoing in my mind long after he fell silent. "There has to be something! You always fix things Carlisle – fix her!"

Carlisle must have replied, because next I heard Edward's soft, fast footsteps. They stopped somewhere near the top of the stairs and after a loud thump I took to be him sitting down, I slowly took the stairs.

As I climbed, I began to hear a noise I couldn't precisely place. I felt sure I had heard it once before, yet it was like nothing I'd ever heard before. It was like a pained dove, lamenting its unavoidable death. A beautiful, terrible sound. It suggested that all the stars were falling from heaven. My whole being ached hearing it. When I saw him, I realised what the sound was. Edward was crying.

I gasped – I couldn't help it. He just looked so...broken, defeated. A shell of my brother remained. I walked forward and knelt in front of his slumped form. His head was buried in his knees and he didn't look up to recognise my presence. His whole body was shaking with grief.

"Oh Edward," I whispered and finally he looked up. One of my hands found it's way over my mouth without my instruction. He was really crying. Tears of the darkest ebony ran down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry..." I trailed off as I realised it would make no difference whether I apologised or not. Instead I didn't all I could think of.

Gently, I released my mouth and with my fingertips I wiped away his tears.

"Alice," He gasped and the single syllable sounded so tortured I opened my arms and he fell against me, shaking and sobbing. I hugged him as best I could, but in reality I knew there was nothing I could do or say in a million years that would make this any better for him.

As I rocked him I couldn't help but think of my own love, my Jasper, bearing the crippling guilt of what he has done somewhere out there all alone.

Reviews are tres tres tres appreciated!


	6. Emmett

_**Thank you soooooo much to everybody who reviewed. I hope you all had a truly fabulous Hallowe'en I know I did! Please review if you can spare the few seconds, because from now on every reviewer gets a quote from the next chapter!**_

_Really, in situations like this I wish my forte were something else – strength is near useless at a time like this. You see, life has suddenly become a very difficult jigsaw puzzle. It's hard to know where to begin. And when you do begin, strength has no place or point. Forcing the parts together only breaks them irreversibly. When all this is over, I hope we still have all the pieces..._

Which way? The choice was mine and mine alone, just the way I like it. Yet suddenly, I felt like I needed someone else there to tell me which way. This decision could cost my family and I everything. Follow Jasper, Edward could do something very stupid. Follow Edward, Jasper could do something equally as bad and just as regrettable. Edward, Jasper, Edward, Jasper?

My eyes flickered back and forth from the place where Jasper had disappeared into the undergrowth and then to where Edward knelt beside Bella. My heart tore in two as it went out to both of them. I heard a faint but instantly recognisable scream and my decision was made – Jasper needed me most.

In the split second I took to turn and prepare to pursue him a flash of red and a fresh scent hit me. Victoria. I bristled inwardly, of course she had something to do with this. Changing my course I sprang after her, rage pushing me forward with speed beyond even Edward.

There she was straight ahead. I could smell her sudden panic; there was no trace of regret within it. With vampires, the scent isn't appealing in the manner it is with humans, but it is very clear and gives obvious messages. Carlisle once told me this was how it was possible to tell if others would fit with your coven and I often wondered what the Cullen smell is and how many humans out there would possess it if changed. Does Bella? She must do, she has to – She is Edward's singer. But, back to the chase at hand.

She turned for a brief moment and I saw a glimmer in her eye: satisfaction over riding her fear. It drove me over the edge. How dare she get off from the horror and grief she has thrown onto my family? She must have seen my anger as her laughter flew back through the rain and wind to me, ringing through my head clearer than an eagle's cry and twice as shrill.

In her moment of distraction I leapt forward and knocked her to the forest floor with a massive crash. She screamed in irritation and snatched herself off the ground.

"You stupid child!" She hissed. Even with a voice as melodic as hers, it sounded terrible. I wasn't particularly phased – all I understood at that moment in time was she needed to be torn limb from limb for the circumstances she had set my family in and I was more than willing to oblige. "She deserves this, you all do! She is the reason I am alone." Her face was twisted in a grotesque fashion as she spoke and I knew she was thinking of James.

"Bella didn't kill James." I spoke coolly, suppressing my anger and focusing instead on keeping her attention. "Neither did Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Alice or Jasper. It was me. Jasper held him still and I tore your love to pieces." She screamed.

"Shut up!" And she lunged for me but I stepped to the side and caught her by the wrist, slamming her into a tree and held her there, pinning her arm above her head.

"I still remember perfectly. Do you want me to tell you of your _noble_ James's last moments?" I shouted into her perfect features, centimetres parting my face from hers. She tried to jerk her arm out of my grip, but I tightened it further. "James was the stupid one, not me. He thought he could take me and win. He had the chance to run, he threw Jasper off him and he could have run. He didn't instead he tried to tear me apart. First I took his arms. Then his legs. I never realised one being could scream as loudly as he did." I snarled, a macabre grin settling on my face. "Maybe you can change my opinion on that.

"By the end he was begging me to kill him, pleading with me. That is how your _clever_ James died." She was shaking with uncontrolled emotion by the time I was through and then I laughed. Oh, how the tables turn. With on last ditch attempt she took my moment to shove me away as hard as physically possible. And she succeeded in making me back off. I just didn't have time to let go of her arm first. If you were there in England 1666, like several I have talked to, you will know what the screaming was like. If you weren't you probably will never be able to imagine it. I hadn't realised just how hard I had been holding onto her. Before I could stop her she had darted away into the forest, clearly glad to get away with her existence even minus a limb.

The thing squirmed and writhed in my grasp and I dropped in surprise. God, why wouldn't she give up? I felt tired, so tired in that moment. Describing the most horrific thing you remember having to do was pretty draining. And it looks like I'm going to have to do it again.

Sighing I picked up the limb and started back to the house – I would dispose of it there, after all purple smoke was pretty rare and besides the rain would stop it burning properly.

Resigning myself to the idea that God knows what could have happened in the time I was away I choose to go round the side of the house and into the garage instead – I really didn't feel like confrontation just at the moment.

The moment I stepped through the door something was wrapped around me. I dropped the arm and returned the hug. Rosalie. She must have been waiting for me. She knows me so well. After a few moments of a blissfully forgetful silence she spoke softly.

"Are you alright?"

I breathed deeply – it's helpfully to think about things like breathing when you don't need them - it's a very soothing process. Was I okay? My family was in tatters, there was a vampire out there needing destroyed and I was a hideous monster who seemed to enjoy lording it over others that he had annihilated their partners. Was that okay enough? Forcing a smile I bent down and picked up the arm which had been slowly crawling toward the door.

"Fancying a barbeque?" Rosalie's eyes widened as I held up the squirming limb. Then we both laughed in unison.


	7. Carlisle

_I am so sorry about the long wait on this but, if you go to my bio and have a look you'll see it was soooooooo worth it!_

Thank you to all the amazing reviewers, I love you all. But, and I know this is a huge pain in the glutious maximus, I will wait until I have 15 reviews before I post the next chapter. Yes, the next chapter is written and in Edward's perspective (in in case you're interested) but you guys shall see hide nor hair of it until I have fifteen. Well, you'll get your quote for reviewing of course!

Oh and yet another apology but one of the quotes I gave out is not in this chapter because, _**#le gasp#**_ in the original draft I killed Bella in this chapter. I'm sorry but I really hate her XD Anyways never fear, she isn't dead..yet. XP oj...or am I? mwhahahahaha

**_'Shut up Shannon!'_**

Sorry.

Anyway...here goes...

**Carlisle**

_My children. I love each and every one of them. They all have their faults. Yet this is only cause for me to love them more. I just wish that they could see that these faults are what make them unique, what make them special. I hope they realise before it is too late._

Thank goodness for the medical advances of today, was all I could think as I injected Bella with the serum that would send her to a place where she would feel nothing of the torture her body was about to experience. I passed her now relaxes body to Esme and she whisked her away to somewhere more comfortable.

I took my time setting the office right, savouring the few moments of peaceful thought. I could hear quiet noise in the corridor and from the tones knew Alice and Edward to be out there.

My children. The confusion and frustration and pain they were feeling was almost visible in the air. I sighed and sat down at my restored desk. What was I meant to say to them? Usually words came so easily, the knowledge, the authority which normally flowed to me was absent at my time of greatest need for it.

Arms were suddenly slipped over my shoulders, hugging me softly.

"Darling?" Esme's angelic voice asked gently in my ear. "What shall we do?"

"I don't know how much we can honestly do." I said tiredly clasping her petite hands in my own.

"It will all work out. This will make us stronger," Esme reassured me and I felt for a moment as though we were to actors in a play reading the wrong character's lines – was I not normally the one who knew the positive outcome already?

I kissed her pale forearm and rested my head there for a moment, basking in this odd instance of reversed roles. I felt her cheek resting against the top of my head and knew she was drawing as much as I from the moment.

A loud cry broke the spell for us and immediately recognising the voice to be Edward's we both hurried out into the corridor, our steps in perfect syncopated rhythm, this togetherness giving us strength neither could have had alone.

"Edward, calm down!" Alice was saying, raising her hands in a surrender of sorts. Edward was towering over her, his face livid.

"Why didn't you see this? Why didn't you save her?" Edward bellowed into her upturned face.

"I...there was no...Edward, please -" Alice's face was paler than usual, utter horror portrayed on her perfectly symmetrical features.

"-You have condemned her to this half life, you and your 'love' together." He spat at her and in that moment I stopped breathing.

"Edward, stop this now." I spoke calmly but loudly my authority finding me once again, without a moment to spare. He froze and turned to look at me. There was no remorse detectable in his expression. There was no expression. Edward's face was completely blank of any emotion as if set in the stone it appeared as. "This madness must end, Edward. No one is to blame. Isabella is going to be fine. Is this not better? This is what she wanted."

His gaze fell away from mine, instead to the floor.

"Excuse me, father. I am letting my emotions get the better, forgive me Alice," He turned to her as he spoke but he didn't look at her. "I think I shall step outside for a moment, I need to regain control of myself." With that he glided past Alice and down the stairs, his eyes never losing contact with the runner.

"Alice dear, are you alright?" Esme asked her, hugging a severely shaken looking Alice. Alice nodded her head and sighed, resting her head on Esme's shoulder.

"Alice, would you go and fetch Emmett immediately please?" I had sensed his return a few moments ago and I knew he would be the only one suitable for what I needed help with. "It is vital he comes now and please remain with Rosalie yourself." I added and Alice darted away a slight frown upon her face.

"Darling?" Esme asked me in mild confusion.

"Edward has gone," I said dully, "I don't doubt his intentions are to find Jasper."

"But how do you...?" Esme's eyes widened.

"Did you not hear it in his voice - his choice of language? _I shall_, not I shan't, _I am_, rather than I'm, it is common when lying to use formality. Also just a few minutes ago Emmett entered the grounds and Edward slipped out at the exact same moment. Had I not sensed the slip in his speech, we would be none the wiser to his absence."

"Oh my." Esme whispered and I ran a hand across my eyes.

"Carlisle?" Emmett appeared before me and I quickly explained the situation to him. "Follow Edward's trail. I would do this myself, but I need to stay and monitor Bella. Just find Edward before he does something he'll regret." Emmett nodded in understanding his eyes serious, before he too left. I could feel he had news for me but it would need to wait for a time of less urgency.

Esme murmured something about going to check on the girls and she planted a soft kiss on my cheek. I barely registered her words or touch.

I walked slowly, even for human standards, back to the room in which Bella was being kept all the while trying to comprehend how one day could go quite so horribly.

I pulled a chair up beside Bella's bed and checked her temperature which had sky-rocketed. I stared at her for a moment. The trials and tribulations we had caused for this girl with our secret where inscrutable. Yet she had stood by Edward through it all. She had saved him from a fate worse than death – an eternity of loneliness. She had been willing to give up her humanity for Edward.

This girl was more than ready to be a Cullen. She already was beginning to smell like a Cullen.

I sat back and sighed. Edward ought to be here, in my place, not out there – hunting his brother as though he were no better than Laurent. There seems to be a law in this world against my family. Has it been decreed somewhere that the Cullen Family shall never live peacefully?

_James, The Volturi, Victoria, The Wolves_...will our trials ever be at an end?


	8. Edward 2

_**Okay guys, this chapter is only coming out now because of how lovely the reviews have been. I'm kind of sad that so many of you think this story unworthy of reviews, I thought I'd been doing okay with the plot and such. Please tell me what I'm doing that you dislike. If it's the speed of update then I am sorry but I'm in full time education and this is the best I can manage what with the most important exams of my life coming up and everything. So a gigantic thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter, that's – Circlesandsquares, FutureCullen22, kiss me eddie,**_ _**dianag99217**_, _**Blood Filled Tears, Buffy1890, XoLikeWoahxO, and leechlover2.**_

_**And...well, I dunno what else to say. Clearly the idea of a quotation isn't making you want to review so that's stopping unless requested in a review. So here's the next chapter and I dunno when the next chapter will be out, I really don't. Enjoy.**_

_If only I could stick by my decisions. If I had, we would never have returned and Bella would be safe and happy with her wolf. I almost wish she had seen what I had. If she had known what would become of her because of me she would have stayed well away._

As I ran I felt no guilt for my deception or remorse for shouting at Alice. There was only a driving determination to make Jasper suffer for this buried somewhere deep within the crevices of my mind.

I felt aggrieved to be leaving my Bella in her time of need, but I couldn't just sit there and watch the colour drain from her beautiful features, see the life fade from her fragile body, hear the heartbeat I had adored so, rush, then choke, and finally splutter from existence. It was more than I could even bare to think about.

So instead of think about it, I concentrated on my path. No matter how unnecessary the action it helped me to remain focused on what lay ahead in more than the geographical sense. Jasper. Vengeance. The animal urge for revenge was one I had only dealt with once before and in almost identical circumstances. Only, last time it wasn't my supposed brother that had bitten my angel and then there had been something I could do about it. It felt like a snake was curled around my chest, a venomous python which had squeezed any thought of empathy or compassion from me leaving only a cold, hard fury.

I raced onwards. The heavy rainfall had cleaned the forest, sweeping away weeks worth of old stale smells leaving our world of Forks a blank canvas ready to be paint with the colours of fresh footfall and new blood. Jasper's track lay clear against the green grass – neon purple – unnatural. I tore through the forest at breakneck speed, and then suddenly there was no more undergrowth.

I was standing out in the open on a sharp cliff. The same one I knew the wolf pack used for that ridiculous game of theirs. And there he was. The traitor. Jasper knelt slumped over slightly at the very edge of the cliff, his head bowed. I almost felt sorry for him in that moment. The look of complete dejected misery he held, the thoughts of regret and shame and...No! He nearly destroyed my Bella. He has taken her life, killed her, stole her soul...he deserved this.

"You," I said, but it came out as more of a snarl. His head snapped up and Jasper leapt to his feet. "You coward."

"Edward, I'm so s-" But before he had time to issue me with his little 'accident' speech I lashed out at him, my nails slicing the skin down the side of his neck. Only a vampire can mark another. I was sure to leave my mark on him. Jasper's hand whipped to the place I had struck, shock on his face. I could hear his thoughts racing.

_'He doesn't understand, I didn't mean to do it. Edward, I know you can hear me, please listen-'_

I blocked off his thoughts. It was too late for listening, too late for regret. His deed was done and he would suffer the consequences.

"You have condemned her to this. She was an angel, my angel, and you have prevented her ever reaching heaven." I couldn't keep the slight tremor from my voice as I stepped closer still.

"Edward it was an accident, please calm down!" I could feel the waves of emotion he was pouring out to me in an attempt to calm me. It wouldn't work today.

"An accident?" I began to circle him and his gaze followed me, distinct fear in his eyes. _Good_, he ought to be scared. "You drank her blood!" My fists clenched by my sides, my own body was begging me to attack him.

"She fell! I was hunting, I had no control over myself. Edward-" How dare he try to make this her fault?

"You never had any control. You've had one too many 'accidents' before, do you not agree?" I spat the words. Bringing them up was low but he needed to hurt, he needed to feel some on the agony I was feeling.

"Beth Riddle. Sara Matthews. Colin Knight. Lydia Meek. And now Bella. At least she gets to remain upon this planet. But, not them. How many innocent families will you ruin before you stop having 'accidents'?" I leaned in close to his ear and whispered the last words. He flinched away from my voice.

"Four families, that I know of," I added the last bit out of pure malice and I saw the pain cross his face. "have never seen their children again. Now another. Renee and Charlie will never know what became of Bella. Her friends, her family will believe her to be dead. Parents are not meant to bury their children, Jasper. They won't even have a body to put in her coffin. Think of Charlie. Bella was all he had. This may just kill him."

"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of them. I try so hard..." His voice trailed away.

"Trying isn't good enough!" I roared at him, pushing hard away from the edge. "Sara was twelve. She never even got to start grammar school. Bella will be nineteen forever. She will never go to college."

"Edward stop!" He yelled and I watched something snap deep within him. "What will it take to convince you I am sorry?"

"How dare you think you can convince me of anything." I snarled and lashed out at him. Jasper didn't try to defend himself and my blow struck him square in the chest. It sounded like two slabs of granite colliding, Jasper barely moved. I grabbed him savagely and threw him to the ground, punching and kicking and clawing at him where ever I could reach – I was practically possessed. I just wanted him to fight back, to be affected into action. He wasn't. It only enraged me further.

"Edward, enough!" He spoke without warning and I froze in my frenzied attack. "This is madness. What will it take?" There was a hint of sympathy in his voice and in that second I wanted to wrench his head from his shoulders. Instead I sprang away from him in disgust, how could he possibly feel sorry for me? I began to walk away from him, shaking with adrenaline.

"Do you wish me dead?" I heard him ask and I froze. "Edward, look at me for Christ's sake!" Jasper screamed at me and I whirled round to face him.

"I do not wish you dead. You are dead. I wish you had never been alive. I wish you beyond dead – I wish you destroyed." I said coldly and this time he didn't flinch against my cold gaze or my cruel words.

Jasper dropped to his knees and spoke to me. No emotion entered his voice, no thoughts were radiating from him.

"Do it now. Go on, do it and be satisfied." With that he closed his eyes and tilted his head backwards, baring his neck, willing me to tear him apart.

The temptation was so strong, do as he said and my vengeance was had. Could I do it? I had forgiven him everything he'd ever done before, could I forgive him this too? But, Bella I was doing this for her...was it what she wanted? She had never held Jasper's problem against him, but that was before it stole her chance at eternal peace, before he stole her soul. I looked away for a moment, out across the sea. My mind was made up.

Before I could change it again I was rushing towards him, and nothing was going to change my intent.

"NO!" I heard someone roar distantly, but it was too late...


End file.
